The 6 Human Needs That Make Every Decision For You!

What if the habits that frustrate you most aren't actually a discipline problem?

What if they're making perfect sense — just for reasons you haven't seen yet?

This is the conversation that changes things for most of my clients. Not a new meal plan. Not a harder workout program. THIS!

The Idea That Changed How I Coach…

Tony Robbins teaches that every human being is driven by six core needs. Not wants — needs. And here's a part that is important, we will always find a way to meet them. Healthy or not. Conscious or not.

The six needs are: Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love & Connection, Growth, and Contribution.

Everyone has all six. Every decision you make is driven one or more of these — That means every decision you make is fulfilling one or more of these needs. The more needs something fulfills the more hardwired that action becomes.

I'm going to walk you through THREE of them today. The three I see come up most often with the people I work with. And I want you to read these slowly — because odds are, you're going to see yourself in at least one of them.

1. Certainty

This is the need to feel safe, comfortable, and in control.

There is nothing wrong with this need. It's one of our most primal drives. The problem is when we start meeting it in ways that keep us completely stuck.

Comfort eating is CERTAINTY. When the day has been unpredictable, exhausting, or emotionally draining — food is reliable. It delivers the same feeling every time. It doesn't disappoint. It doesn't judge. In a world that feels out of control, it's the one thing that feels certain.

Waiting for the perfect plan before you start? CERTAINTY. If you never begin, you never fail. And not failing feels safe.

Going back to the same routine that stopped working two years ago? Again, CERTAINTY. Because at least you know what that feels like — and the unknown feels more threatening than staying exactly where you are.

Here's the line I want you to sit with: sometimes we stay stuck because stuck feels familiar. And familiar feels safe — even when it's painful.

This struggle I faced in my business for years! I thought it was everything against me, when really it was me blocking myself so I could stay where it felt safe.

2. Significance

This is the need to feel important, valued, and worthy.

This one runs deep — and it shows up in fitness in a way most people never recognise until it's pointed out.

When your results become the thing that determines your worth, every setback stops being a setback. It becomes a verdict. The scale doesn't just go up — it means something about you as a person. Progress slows and suddenly you're not just frustrated, you're ashamed. You feel like proof that some people just can't do it.

That is significance running the show.

And here's the trap: people with a high need for significance can have a need for fast results to feel proud. So that means chasing extreme approaches — because extreme approaches produce fast (often temporary) changes. The problem is when results slow down or life gets in the way, the emotional crash is brutal. And that crash is what leads to quitting.

When your identity is tied to your results, every plateau feels personal. It's exhausting. And it's one of the biggest reasons people who are genuinely trying still can't stay consistent.

3. Love & Connection

The need to feel loved, understood, supported, and close to others.

This is the one that catches people off guard the most. And to be honest with you it is what I struggle with the most when it comes to food.

Food is comfort. Food is connection. It's what we gather around in celebration, in grief, in loneliness, and in stress. For a lot of people — especially those who grew up in households where food was love, like it was for me growing up— eating is one of the most reliable ways to feel something warm when life feels cold.

So when the day falls apart, or you feel overwhelmed, or you're just deeply tired and nobody around you seems to get it — food shows up. Every time. Without fail. That is why after a shit day on my way home those Golden Arches of Mcdonalds look so welcoming. It is such a struggle to not by 2 McDoubles with extra onions and a large fry. The food doesn’t taste that great, it is in noway healthy for me… but my brain has linked it to that feeling of warmth or connection and there I go. However I have realized a chat with a loved one fills that same void and saves me about 1100 calories! :)

Sometimes the craving isn't for food at all. It's for comfort that food can never actually give you. And no amount of willpower addresses that, because willpower isn't the issue.

This also shows up as abandoning your own goals to fit in with the people around you.

Eating off-plan because you don't want to be the difficult one at the table.

Quietly shrinking your standards so you don't make anyone else uncomfortable.

Connection is a real need. But letting it silently override your goals is worth looking at honestly.

What About The Other Three?

Variety, Growth, and Contribution — the remaining three needs — deserve their own conversation entirely. They show up in some powerful and surprising ways too. Maybe in a later post. Let me know below if you would want to read & learn about the other three.

But for now, I want you to do one thing.

Think about a habit you keep repeating that you genuinely want to change. And ask yourself honestly — what is this giving me? What need might it be meeting?

Your answer doesn't need to sound impressive. It just needs to be honest. Because when you understand the need underneath the pattern, you can finally stop fighting the surface and start building something that actually works.

This is the kind of work we do at Diamond Coaching. Not just programs and meal plans — but actually understanding what's driving your behaviour so we can build a strategy that holds up in real life.

If this resonated and you want to go deeper, I'd love to talk. No pitch, just a real conversation.

Book a time to chat using the THIS LINK.

Until next time, Live with intention.